Sighz... finally able to book out but things didnt went as well as I expected... got sicked... first week in NS... really had a hard time adjusting... didnt click well with bunk mates... seriously not used to vulgarities and dirty talks.... homesicked.. lovesicked and physically sicked... and still not use to the way of obeying instructions that had being laid out... sighz... but however.. everyday.. I always had big source of motivation.... Its her... I always bear in mind wat she told me... "for guys, NS is their turning point of life… you must work hard in there..." this phase keep me going on and on... I kept on going despite physical weakness... My body jus couldn’t listen to me... but those words motivates me to go harder... really tried till I hit my max... everyday.. I looked forward to 2130, whereby I can call her, and talk to her, or at least see her msges after talking to my parents... but there were days... where no replies from her... I felt kinda sad... but I keep thinking positive that she might be tired... thinking back...giving tuition, working else where at the same time can really be tiring.... So I jus msged her... wishing her well.... Hopefully she reply too... if doesn't, its alright too... I was really stressed in there, I jus wish to excel in there hoping to get into OCS or SISPEC... so at least I can hve something that can make her feel proud of... but I faced many problems... sighz.. broke down inside there.... in the 2nd week I got gastritis.... It was so pain till I couldn’t stand straight.. vomiting umpteen times.. I thought I still can take it... but in the end.. got reprimanded by my sgt and... no choice but to report sick... I was admitted to sickbay and put on drip... the drip is painful... its like a straw-like needle poking into my forearm.. and stuck in there till tml morning... but things didn’t get better, I got fever and they told me to go home early... sighz.. that’s how I booked out..... I wanted to meet her at the very moment after seeing my parents.... but she isn’t free… sighz.. but its ok... me understand… seeing her busy till fall sick... hurts me... but I jus dunno how to tell her my concerns... at most... I can only tell her not to overload herself and rest more... drink more water and take medications... sighz.... Pls... any being... jus show me a path... or at least guide me a path... im lost... utterly lost... especially when she broke a news to me........... history never meant to be history... they jus keep repeating....
Tears dropped within,
but none knows...
Heart shattered much,
but not entirely...
Being optimistic I tried,
but little hope...
Me still waiting hard,
waiting for you...
